Offline blog: 2:54 AM 20/04/2003
Offline blog: 2:54 AM 20/04/2003
Feeling mentally unstable again today. Was asked to do the school annual CD in the morning, but didn’t have the mood to do anything at all, so decided to ignore the message till something like 4.30 pm, before I finally went to his room and did little things.
Then went to church. Today was holy saturday. It was strange. The unveiling of Christ on the cross just somehow filled my feelings then. Frankly speaking, I’ve never been very religious in my life. But today made me think again. And it was also in church that I realised how wonderful the event of baptism is, that I wished that I could be baptised again. Maybe if I were to be baptised again, it could relive my faith, such that I can have the strength to carry on.
But then went back, and somehow was very unstable mentally. Just like the last time, when a mixture of feelings is inside me. And there was this urge to punch whatever in sight. Luckily managed to supress it.
Heh, my Media Player is running Escape Club’s I’ll Be There. Sigh… Reminds me of the past. I think there’s this part of me that wants something more out of us. But then there’s another part of me who says that if it were to happen, I will only screw up the whole thing.
Bleargh, now my Media Player’s running Frank & Nancy Sinatra’s Something Stupid. Only that my case is a wee bit different. And then I go and spoil it off by saying something stupid like ‘I like you’… Stupid me. Shouldn’t have said it at the first place. But what can a disturbed mind like mine was do?
And the more I think of it, the more regretful I am.
Better stop now.
Oh, must mention one funny thing that happened when I was in church. I got this call from some unknown home number. The call was made to my old number, which was diverted to my new number. I rejected the call and so the call was forwarded to my voice mailbox. After church, I checked my voice mailbox, and took some time to decipher the message before realising that the call was actually made by my hall tutor, which said: “Hendri, come out, eat beansoup.” Dots…
And maybe I should mention about my next web programming project that just come up in my mind. Was thinking of doing my own blog program thingie. Will probably call it something like MOB, stands for My Online Blog. This way I don’t always have to rely on Blogger for my blogs. 
Who knows, I may also put some extra features like feedback or something else that I haven’t thought of. Anyway, you’ll know that I finally manage to squeeze some free time to do this when you don’t see the Powered by Blogger button thingie under the links boxes to the side. Maybe it’ll change to Powered by MOB or something. Lol…