great. wonderful. magnificent. i just
great. wonderful. magnificent.
i just found out that we can actually go and watch the choir syf finals yesterday. sigh… i’m just very, very disappointed. and i heard that ac sang much better than we did during the concert. but then again…. it’s my fault too not to ask anyone about it earlier. bah… but on a side note, ac emerged as the overall champion.
been pretty much emotionless the past few days too. like everything is just the same, with the same euphoric state, with sometimes only a little tinge of extra happiness, disappointment, or anything else. i wonder when will i finally lose all my feelings… or, to be optimistic, when will i finally be back to normal. if all these go on, i don’t think i’ll be too surprised if one day i go to a doctor and be pronounced to be having lung cancer or something. it’s great, to take a look at it from another point of view. at least i won’t be too much more depressed by those new stuff. cool.
by the way, AS (i hope you know who you are)… i’m not very jealous when you said that. i hope you know what i’m talking about. ok, maybe a little bit. as i said: i lost most of my feelings this week. but anyway, i’m not very jealous, but i’m more of disappointed with myself. why, you should know. i hope.
hmm, seriously, my decision-making is seriously impaired. even simple stuff like sending an sms. i mean, i couldn’t decide on what reply i should send when i heard that ac won the choir syf yesterday. so in the end i spent like 15 mins and settled with a ‘you beat the green jc! congrats!’ kind of thing. sigh….
just heard from a friend at rj that two girls attempted to commit suicide. one succeeded and the other was hospitalised. it’s quite scary, i tell you. don’t worry, i’m currently in this stage where i’m quite scared to hurt myself even more, so i don’t really bother about thinking of how to commit suicide the most efficient way. but sometimes i’m just scared that one day it would be me. but if i do, that means i would have failed to keep my promise long, long time ago to die naturally.
asean senior’s night is just around the corner. next sat night, to be precise. still can’t decide if i should go or not. (see, my decision-making again) i mean, if i go, i might end up screwing up, and in the end i will just hurt myself again, like what i’ve been doing so far. really confused… would someone give me a suggestion?
sigh… i’m getting crazy. i can’t even take care of myself. i just wish that i can finally get hold of my life again. but i can’t. for now at least. very disappointed… sigh…
great. wonderful. magnificent.