This is exactly the song that have been running on and on in my mind for the past 120 days… just that I’ve never bothered to post it here.
If only I could turn back time. If only I didn’t do things rashly. If only I had not done what I did… but does it matter now?
Read more for the lyrics.
As it’s time for me to go on to the next phase in life after school, I went to sign up for campus interviews. It’s just one of the events provided by the Career & Attachment Office to help graduates in securing their first job.
As I was going through the list of companies to consider, one of them caught my attention. Have a look at their requirements:
“Only happy people will be considered.”
Oh dear, is the IT industry that bad that many people who go into it are unhappy?
In any case, I think I’ll try to apply to this company. Not only because of that statement they use, but also because the job scope seems interesting.
Have a good job-hunting to those who just graduated! 
Sometimes I really feel that I’ve been taken for granted by some of my friends. Note that I really mean some, and I can name a few of my friends who are not as bad as what I’m going to write in this entry.
There was this girl who haven’t talked to me for a couple of years already. And then all of a sudden, she messaged me on MSN, asking me how my FYP went and whether I’ve got a job already. Despite being surprised, we chatted for a couple of lines, before her true intention suddenly rose to view: her PC kept on giving her an error and she wanted me to help her solve the problem.
Another friend of mine suddenly called me for the first time ever since we got to know each other. It turned out that he wanted me to help him with his website assignment.
Well, so much for being one of those better-informed in the IT field. It is not that I mind helping out. To put it in an often-overused quote: It makes me happy to make people, especially my friends, smile. The thing is that I do not officially open a technical support line, and thus being only sought after when people need me to solve their problems only make me feel like one.
I couldn’t help but think to myself: Am I really that unimportant? Am I meant to be forgotten? Is it such the case that people will only come to me when they need me? Am I just being taken for granted by these so-called friends? Why can’t they ask me how I am doing instead of asking me to do a favour for them?
***
But then I thought about it again, and decided to put it in another perspective.
For those friends who haven’t talked to me in ages, I myself have not talked to them in ages. Has it not been a case of me taking them for granted then? Have I actually made the effort to say hi and ask them how they are doing? And haven’t I done the same thing when I ask people to do me a favour when I haven’t talked to them for a while?
It’s much too easy to put the blame on others when we are not perfect ourself. It’s like being a hypocrite, when we expect others to do something when we are not willing to do it ourself.
So take this story and reflect: for each person that you think have taken you for granted, think again, have you yourself taken them for granted? If you know you have, perhaps it’s time to say hi and ask them how they’re doing. If you have never taken them for granted, and they do take you for granted… well, perhaps it’s not worth your time to bother with these people.
Or maybe… it’s just a case that I’m not good in maintaining friendships, in advancing from the acquaintance stage to the friend stage, and most of my contacts happen to be in the former. I looked at my chat logs and realised that I only talk to less than 15 people in the past few months. Even then, out of these, less than 10 are worth a real chat (i.e. not those hi-how-are-you-how-have-you-been-oh-i-see-and-silence-and-bye thing.)
“I have no more questions for you, thank you.”
As the FYP moderator completed that sentence after my presentation, I knew it was the end for me. The end of my academic life, of seventeen years of formal education (4 years uni + 2 years JC + 2 years secondary + 3 years junior high school + 6 years elementary school). It also marks the start of the next phase of my life, replacing school with career and classmates with colleagues.
Let me just take a quick tour down the memory lane as I recall what had happened throughout my four years in the university.
***
First year
I was still green. I still remember my aims at that time were to get straight A’s, to be in the Dean’s List as many times as possible, to participate in research, and to be active in CCAs. I even aimed to take up a PhD at the end of the four years. Of all the aims, I managed to obtain none.
Participated in my first Indonesian freshmen orientation. It was fun.
I joined the Visual Arts Society and SIGGRAPH as my ECAs, with a few others in which I’m just a member.
I had a massive culture shock, with the majority of the Singaporeans speaking Chinese and foreigners speaking in their own tongues, leaving me with a majority of Indonesian friends.
I also decided to take up the Minor in Communication Studies, taking visual and designing modules. I was exempted from some core subjects, so I managed to finish the minor by my second year.
Results were quite satisfactory, although the Accounting module I took in the special semester was horrendous.
Also took part as a committee member for two external projects: Digital DESIGN and Image|reel, even though I was in Indonesia most of the time (I was acting as webmaster). It was a wonderful experience working with the best team I ever worked with in my entire university life.
***
Second year
Suddenly my Indonesian friends were spread into the different courses. So do my best of friends. As we don’t meet too often anymore, we gradually started to lose touch.
I became a committee member of the Indonesian freshmen orientation and took too much photos and videos. I still have one video tape untouched and unedited since then. But it was fun.
I decided to focus on SIGGRAPH for my ECA, acting as the special projects manager. Arranged a lot of activities with the rest of the team, though the bond wasn’t as close as it was in Digital DESIGN the previous year.
I found my love in SIGGRAPH.
Completed my Minor in Communication Studies. Started to regret going to EEE, wishing I was in SCE instead. The funny thing was my results were only getting better. Still, no Dean’s List for me. Too much competition.
Participated in Digital DESIGN that year as vice chairperson. It wasn’t that bad I suppose.
***
Third year
The best year of my university life.
Forgone exchange programme and research opportunity, partly due to financial reasons, and partly to spend time with the one I loved.
Left all ECAs, partly as I would be having an internship, and the same second reason as above.
Results were the best of my three years. Unsurprisingly, still no Dean’s List for me. But I didn’t care anymore.
Second semester was spent on internship. It was the best semester. Learnt a lot of new things at work, and realised that university degree isn’t everything. Had a lot of fun during internship.
Circle of friends was even smaller.
Started to have doubts about my love.
***
Fourth year
Exactly the opposite of the third year. It was the most horrible of the four years.
Attempted to be very serious, but it was quite hard after the realization during internship.
FYP didn’t go well from the beginning, and it was only towards the end that things started to look better. Dropped everything, including socialising and entertainment, for FYP. Nevertheless, completed it rather successfully despite the suffering.
HRM was a killer module, with the amount of work exceeding even that of FYP.
Didn’t join any ECAs despite my initial intention to, as I expected the academic workload to be heavy.
Realised that I still loved her after all. But in the end, I still lost my love to… projects? stupidity? But did I actually lose it, or did I leave it? Will I regret doing what I did in the future? I’ll probably never know.
Didn’t widen my social circle much, but attempted to deepen what I already have, with polarized results.
Took up Chinese, though I’m still too shy to actually use it.
Still, academic results in first semester were about the same as that in year 3. Now waiting for results for second semester.
***
Well, that pretty much sums up my four years… Will probably add on things if I can remember them.
I’m currently on Ubuntu Linux on my laptop, connected to my home desktop PC using the Terminal Server (a.k.a. Remote Desktop) connection. The desktop PC is in turn connected to NTU’s VPN, through which I connect to my FYP PC in school using another Remote Desktop connection.
So the end result is that I have an Ubuntu machine connected to a Windows XP machine, which in turn is connected to another Windows XP machine, all through Remote Desktop connections.
Oh, the things that geeks do…
Now if only I can get hold of a Mac machine, it would be perfect.
Thursday was Labour Day, and so I was in the hospital in labour stayed at home to rest and play games… Managed to improve my standing to #2 in Singapore for TrackMania Nations Forever Solo. If anyone’s playing the game, do add me as your buddy. My login ID is hendribudi and my password is *******.
Didn’t have much to do on Friday, so I went to school to return the book I smuggled out borrowed from library for my last paper. Also went to the International Student Centre to collect my PR invitation letter. I’m not a PR yet, but I will be eligible to apply for PR once I get a job. I also went to the Career and Attachment Office to get my IA certificate. Finally I’m starting to see something out of my university education.
After putting the items in my locker, I headed out to the airport. I SMSed some of my friends, but none wanted to go, so I went on my own. It was a nostalgic trip, with all the nice memories there. Bought mint chocolate and Cadbury chocolate at Candy Empire.
I managed to catch the A380 while at T3. Also attempted to spot airplanes, though I still have to brush up on my airplane identification skill. The airplanes were landing on runway 20R, and probably 20C (I could only see the first runway from T3), and so it would have been perfect had I been in Changi Village instead, since it would be just under the landing path.
I wanted to spot the A380 taking off to Sydney, so I made my way to Terminal 2. Unfortunately the viewing gallery was too small and anyway it was quite dark out there, so I didn’t catch the take off in the end.
I had my dinner at Popeyes Chicken, but unfortunately it wasn’t nice at all. Perhaps I was just unfortunate to get the tasteless chicken or maybe it was just the lack of company. Kind of regretted getting the 3 chicken meal set that I bought.
I was contemplating to go home, but heard that Daphne was going to meet Chillycraps and Xizor2000 in town. So I went to drop by Suntec’s Starbucks.
The journey to Starbucks was not without any challenges–I thought they were at the Starbucks in one of the Suntec towers. So I went all the way, only to be told that they were at the Suntec Convention Centre Starbucks, which is like just next to the exit of the underpass I had to take to get to Suntec…
So I made my way back to the correct Starbucks. It was also the first time that I met my plug police partner Xizor2000. It was great meeting them, though Chillycraps had to leave early. Thanks to Xizor2000, now I know how to use the shoutbox on my phone without any additional devices. Maybe I’ll do a walkthrough post on this too.
We only left after midnight, and since there was no more trains available, Xizor2000 and I shared a cab home.
Heh, this post sounds very boring… I really wonder where did all those funny jokes I used to pepper my blog with go.
Procrastination is not good. Since exams ended on 29 April, I’ve thought of many things to blog about, just that I haven’t gone about putting them into writing.
Fine, I haven’t gone about putting them into typing.
That sentence sounds weird.
Anyhow, I’ve been going out and spending quite a lot of money since exams ended. Not that I’m rich or anything, but I think I deserve a rest after all those weeks holing myself up either at home or in school to mug.
Tuesday evening was spent with a friend. It’s been a while since the two of us last met, and I only realised that I wore exactly the same shirt that I wore the previous time we met.
I swore I changed in between.
Dinner was at Pepper Lunch (our favourite) followed by coffee at Starbucks. It was inevitable that the chat revolved around romance, and I must admit that I am not ready to move on to another girl. In the meantime I’ll just wait and see how things go.
After deliberating later on in the Ping.sg shoutbox, I decided to go with Krisandro and Ironic Gamer to the Podfire.sg launch event at Geek Terminal on Wednesday evening. It was also the first time I met Krisandro in person.
Podfire.sg is a podcast aggregator based in Singapore. Currently they carry the Blogger’s Treat (a food show done by bloggers) and Geek Goddess (a technology show, also done by bloggers) as their inaugural episodes. Unfortunately, the inaugural episodes of the two shows failed to impress me. They are not badly done per se, but perhaps it was because I had carried a certain amount of expectation of the shows.
It would be great if the hosts in Blogger’s Treat were more vocal and describe the food that they are eating in more details, because after all viewers can’t taste them when watching the show, instead relying on visual and aural clues. I also felt that there was too much emphasis on the hosts instead of the food itself, but it could be just me.
The Geek Goddess show was riddled with technical issues, for example there was one time where the host spoke softly, and just when I was straining my ears, the host started a song which was very loudly, startling me in the process. Also, since the website reviewed was in Chinese, it didn’t really appeal to me.
Nevertheless, it seems like a new idea and I’m sure that subsequent shows will be much better.
They have also teamed up with Tech65 (another technology podcast from Singapore) as their partner. I met numerous people at the event, old and new: Arzhou, DK, Paddy, Nadnut (first time), Mintea, Tian Hong, Nicole, Uzyn, Ridz, Krisandro (first time), Ironic Gamer, Sabrina (the host of Blogger’s Treat, though I didn’t talk to her in the end), Daphne, Deadpris (first time), Jean, Claudia, Bernard, Miccheng, Lu Yee, Farinelli, and many others (apologies if I missed out your name here!).
Food was onion rings, spring roll, sandwich, and potato wedges. It was alright, but of course, an event at Geek Terminal is not perfect without Danny’s coffee. As usual, Nicole never failed to manage to get Danny to stretch his creativity and come up with new drinks. I wonder what they were, since I didn’t get to drink them, but they sure look good (look at some of the photos in Jean’s blog).
Unfortunately, I was too shy to interact with the others (it’s amazing what months of anti-social life can cause you) so I remained rather low-profile throughout the event.
We then headed out to The Pump Room, which is a pub located a few stones’ throw away in Clarke Quay. Not knowing what to expect, I let DK order my drink which was their signature lager beer. It was then that I realised why I hated beer.
As the music (mostly oldies) started and the crowd started to dance, I felt totally out place there and decided to retreat to the back of the room. I’m more of a geek than a clubber, and so I watched people dance in the background. A while later, Ironic Gamer, Daphne, Tian Hong, Deadpris and I decided to call it a day and caught our last trains for home.
